Sheilagh

You make the observation “Mom ran the household like a military camp.” I have given that
statement a lot of thought and would like to postulate that we were somewhat akin to a small regiment in an army: Dad was Colonel-in-Chief, Mom was his Adjutant or Regimental
Sergeant Major and we were the foot soldiers. She was a full time mother and never worked
out of the house until the youngest was off to school.

In this situation, we had understandings as to what was expected of us in terms of doing
work such as washing dishes (no mechanical dishwashers in those days), hanging up clothes
and diapers to dry, putting the baby-of-the-day on the potty and emptying the leavings,
mowing the lawn and raking it in the fall as well as other numerous tasks which were well
outlined in constant lists drawn up by Mother. We had a quarter of a pie shaped table where
everyone had his or her assigned place so there was no fighting over placement. Food was
doled out by Mother on dishes in sequential seniority order and were then brought to the
table in the same order. This was done three times daily as we all came home for lunch
from school. The over arching idea here is that of regimen where each of us knew what was
expected of us and when someone whined or complained, their complaints were given short
shrift as we all had to carry the weight. Nor was there any room for prima donnas. Anyone
who aspired to that occupation was swiftly disabused of the notion. We all suffered
collectively each night before going to bed when it was time to say the “beads” (aka the
Catholic rosary) on our knees. Each of us got our turn at saying a decade and there was
an unspoken competition as to who could get through the fastest without hearing a growl
from Dad to “Slow down!” The beads were followed by other ad hoc prayers which began with
the recitation “God bless Michael, Patrick, Margaret, Cathy, Kevin, Maureen, …whats’
the new kid’s name? Ah…yes..Sheilagh” then onto more prayers. Within about 18 months,
that particular prayer had evolved into “”God bless Michael, Patrick, Margaret, Cathy,
Kevin, Maureen, Sheilagh …whats’ the new kid’s name? Ah…yes..Mary Ann”. And so it
went.

Dad spent a number of years in the army during WWII and afterwards, some years in the
militia. With his years in a family of 13 children and his military bent, discipline was
high on the list of his priorities both with his family and his students. From 1948 to
1957, he was a high school teacher and I’ve spoken to a number of his students who
unanimously avowed that, although very strict, was the best teacher they’d ever had.
Woe betide the young one who ventured to swivel their head in church to look around as a
respite from boredom. In short order, a long arm would reach over, a large palm with
spread fingers would clamp down on the offending head and smartly, the child’s eyes were
facing the altar once again. Parishioners sitting behind always enjoyed these scenes. As
Angela has written, Dad was never one to solicit opinions from us. Even up until he died,
I never ventured into topics on which he and I would be bound to disagree as I knew full
well that dismissal of any of my opinions would be certain. He had firm ideas but they
were grounded in cement.

But all of this discipline meted out by both parents was tempered with love. Neither
parent could actually show overt affection to a specific child as this can’t happen in an
“army”. Everyone had to be treated equally. The older children were expected to help with
the raising of the younger ones. For me, as the oldest, I unknowingly acted as a
surrogate father sometimes in small ways which stood me in good stead in later life when
I married a widow with three children.

The world has moved on from those days and I dare say that we’ll be hard pressed to ever
again find a “functional family” with 12 children. It was an experience I am very proud
to have been a part of.

Michael

http://cid-ab00adfeae4d951a.skydrive.live.com/home.aspx

There are two pictures: one of the whole family with names taken after church service celebrating Mom and Dad’s 60th wedding anniversary. The other was taken the same day just below their apartment.

These should help your readers to put faces to names.

Cheers – Michael